You're Too Good to Feel This Bad: An Orthodox Approach to Living an Unorthodox Life
von Nate Dallas
What triggered these emotions? What need am I craving? (Which is code for, “Which one is in deficit?”) What harmful thought is recurring or staying around? Why do I feel threatened? Who do I need to pardon or forgive? Does this behavior or state match up with my standards? What do you hate right now? What do you fear? What does your family or community need you to do? Where is the opportunity in this scenario? What happens if I stay here? Who does it affect? What happens if I transcend the problem? Who benefits from a corrective action? What are some positive ways I can fill the low bucket? Melatonin does not affect how deeply you sleep, but it greatly influences how sleepy you become each day. Melatonin gets released into your body mostly after dusk. When light dissipates, and your brain perceives darkness, the hormone level increases. In a natural setting without flashing billboards and overhead kitchen lights, melatonin activity initiates at sunset. It continues for a few hours until it reaches a peak that cues you to go to sleep. Like adenosine, as melatonin builds in the system, we become sleepier.
Caffeine binds to the very same receptors in the brain that are needed to bind adenosine. When caffeine attaches to the receptors, adenosine gets blocked from binding to the site. Remember, adenosine accumulates every hour we are awake. Therefore, when caffeine is on board, we don’t get as sleepy as we should because the adenosine is left in the system with nowhere to express its sleep signals.
Most people find a way to feel significant by having significant problems. Problems are more readily accessible than legitimate success. We get addicted to problems because they meet this particular need, and some of the others, so well. The issues eventually integrate into our story. After telling the story enough times, we permanently attach the problem to our identity.
Be polite. Smile. Don’t lie. Take turns. Help each other. Share. Play fairly. Keep your cool. Be patient. Don’t steal. Be merciful. Do no harm. Be a team player. Don’t overreact. Work hard. Pull your weight. Stop complaining. Clean up after yourself. Don’t spend more money than you make. Don’t hate. Don’t gossip. Don’t be nosy. Respect people’s space.
Need #3 – Significance The third human need is significance. This is the need to feel important, influential, unique, or valued. We have a desire to be recognized for our best qualities and achievements. We want to be respected, noticed, heard, and understood, even if we claim to dislike attention. Everybody needs to feel special.
We like to blame a lack of resources for our stagnancy, but the thing we are lacking is resourcefulness. We do what we want to do. If we want it bad enough, we will find a way. When we will not move, we must be honest and admit that our desire is probably lacking. If unwilling to work, we should reevaluate our desire.
"What triggered these emotions? What need am I craving? (Which is code for, “Which one is in deficit?”) What harmful thought is recurring or staying around? Why do I feel threatened? Who do I need to pardon or forgive? Does this behavior or state match up with my standards? What do you hate right now? What do you fear? What does your family or community need you to do? Where is the opportunity in this scenario? What happens if I stay here? Who does it affect? What happens if I transcend the problem? Who benefits from a corrective action? What are some positive ways I can fill the low bucket?"
"Melatonin does not affect how deeply you sleep, but it greatly influences how sleepy you become each day. Melatonin gets released into your body mostly after dusk. When light dissipates, and your brain perceives darkness, the hormone level increases. In a natural setting without flashing billboards and overhead kitchen lights, melatonin activity initiates at sunset. It continues for a few hours until it reaches a peak that cues you to go to sleep. Like adenosine, as melatonin builds in the system, we become sleepier."
"When we have a sinus infection or the flu, we are told to drink plenty of fluids. What if we just stayed hydrated and avoided the sickness altogether? Why wait for the suffering to remember to hydrate? Even in the absence of feeling sick, waiting for your body to tell you it’s thirsty is a costly mistake. It’s incredible just how fast our bodies can shed water and become dehydrated—just ask a wrestler. When we are short on water, we are short on health. We must be proactive and raise our drinking standards."
"Recognize when you are in a state that does not align with optimal health and happiness and does not contribute to accomplishing your goals. Take action quickly to change your state before you overthink it or change your mind. Use both your body and your mind to escape. Change your physiology first, and then your focus. Do this as often as necessary until they become habitual and part of your identity. The goal is simple: We are striving to become more self-aware, disciplined individuals."
"When I find myself in an unexpected emotional slump, I find it valuable to sit alone and ask a few questions. After an outburst, a bad day, or just realizing that I am in a low-energy funk, I now force myself to change my state and then sit with a list. I break the pattern with physiology first, followed by a deliberate change of focus. Before discussing it with someone else, I need to talk it over with myself. Here are some useful, sometimes uncomfortable questions I keep in my queue."
"Several foods, antioxidants, and dietary supplements can increase NO in the body. For those who want to elevate levels of this wonder-drug, do a little research on ways to boost it through diet. I have tried many food variations and continue to do so. I believe some of them help, but I have no way to measure or validate the results. I can say that I have grown to love beets and dark chocolate. They taste terrible, however, if consumed at the same time."
"If we can learn to navigate our emotions, both the constructive and destructive ones, we will be able to achieve a higher level of success and happiness. Physiology and focus are your allies and no longer your adversaries. Using the body and mind instead of allowing it to use you changes everything. Knowing how to break a pattern is a powerful weapon to have in your arsenal. Wield it well and use it often."
- →We like to blame a lack of resources for our stagnancy, but the thing we are lacking is resourcefulness. We do what we want to do. If we want it bad enough, we will find a way. When we will not move, we must be honest and admit that our desire is probably lacking. If unwilling to work, we should reevaluate our desire.
- →raise your standards. Better standards require us to remove some things and add some others. They force us to accept some things and refuse to accept others. At this point in life, you don’t need another lecture. You probably only need a few new tools, and perhaps a quick demo.
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